Sunday, October 30, 2011
Strider 2 Review
Sorry for the long wait, but here's the next review, Strider 2.
Title card by Jessica Andrews
http://ikacte.deviantart.com/
Also my area was hit with a blizzard, knocking out the power so there may be a longer than usual wait before videos, thank you for your patience.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
iPhone Game Review - Dino Rush
Back to the Jurassic period to help a little dinosaur eat all the fruit he can stuff his face full of
Monday, October 24, 2011
A Quest for Pizza
Normally I don't go out of the house for too many reasons, but today was one of those reasons that reaffirms why I shouldn't.
I was craving pizza for lunch today, so I decided to try out one of the local places in town. I call up on my cellphone, no answer. So thinking they're not answering since my cell is an out of state number I call on the house phone, still no answer. I So I head on down there, I had to go to the post office today anyway. So I arrive at the pizza place to put the order there in person. Door's locked... who the hell is closed on a Monday? I can understand being closed on a Sunday but Monday? I looked the place up on the internet and since it's one of those family owned places, they're hours aren't posted.
So I leave and go to the post office, there's four people standing around and talking. Why? It's the post office not a box social. There's no employees so I have to ring the bell, I ask if the box can be dropped into the box, the lady just takes it and puts it with the other mail without saying a word and she speaks English, I know I've had many a package sent from that place. I think that lady just hates me.
So I decide to try the other pizza place, it's a little out of the way but why not? I head down tot the intersection and there's a small ambulance that turns before me and they speed limit is 45 and they're going 25. They're just crawling the whole fucking time. Then they stop, what the fuck? There's construction going on on the other side of the road. And they construction crew isn't going anything, they just parked their vehicles in the middle of the road.
Then I pull into the plaza. They plaza is divided into two sections, the main driveway leads to a cooperate building, and then there's a section where you turn into a plaza where there's a couple of stores and that parking lot is separated from the cooperate building's so it's not shared. I pull into the plaza with the stores, they're parking lot is divided into 3 sections, left, straight and right. U pull up tot he pizza place and it too is closed, but not only are they closed on Monday, they're closed on Tuesday too and they open at 3:30. There's several businesses in that plaza why would they have such fucked up hours?
So I leave, I'm on the far left of the plaza, and there's only one way out and that's the same way you entered. I'm coming from the left side of the parking lot, and there's this old lady who's parked perpendicular to a bunch of parking spots and she's half on the parking spots and half in the road so I have to get on the opposite side of the road to get around her. Then this other lady, pulls into the parking lot and decide that she wants to turn left. Why? I don't know everything on the left side of the plaza is closed. So she sees me and stops, I'm stuck between a car and an island, so I can't move for her, and she expected me to. While there is only one entrance where this new lady is, which is also blocking me form leaving. She just pulled in, she's still facing the way to go straight all she had to do was turn her tires back and she could go straight and would be in the center of a plaza of 5 stores, with the ones on the left being closed, where I just came from.
The idiot is still trying to come my way so I squeeze my way between the two cars and leave the area. But I was not going to be beaten so easily. I've gone through 8 counts of irritating bullshit.
1) The first pizza place not picking up
2) The first pizza place being closed when I got there
3) The lady at the post office
4) The ambulance
5) The construction crew not going anything but taking up space
6) The second pizza place being closed
7) The Lady who parked like a moron
8) The other lady who was intent on going left when going straight would be take her to the same place in a shorter distance
At that point I said fuck it, time to pick up some Red Baron pizza. Then number 9 happens, a guy at the exit of the plaza who isn't paying attention and missed several opportunities to leave and he's driving so fucking slow, he's going about 45 so that's better than the ambulance.
I get to the grocery store, as I'm walking in here comes number 10. A woman with her daughter who are leaving. The woman stops as I walk in, she looks at me and then as this smug look on her face, it's that smug smile of "I'm better than you and I know it." Look, you've all seen it before you know what it looks like.
At thins point in time my sanity was hanging by a thread and because of this woman, my sanity has snapped, it's gone. So this woman thinks she's better than me? Well god damn it, time to fucking prove it, so I turn to her and say "What the fuck are you looking at you stupid cunt?" And I say that in front of her daughter too, so maybe her kid will learn to not be a stuck up bitch. I didn't stick around to see the aftermath, I was on a quest.
I go to the freezer section, I open the door and look for the one I want. I look down, there's a tag 2 for $7... my quest has paid off, more than I thought it would. Normally Red Baron pizza is close to $7 for just one. Now knowing that this pizza has a zesty sauce I go to pick up a bottle of soda. 2 for $3... I've hit the jackpot.
I pay for my stuff and leave, and it's a straight shot home, no traffic, no construction, green lights all the way. And all this happened in 30 minutes... or less.
I was craving pizza for lunch today, so I decided to try out one of the local places in town. I call up on my cellphone, no answer. So thinking they're not answering since my cell is an out of state number I call on the house phone, still no answer. I So I head on down there, I had to go to the post office today anyway. So I arrive at the pizza place to put the order there in person. Door's locked... who the hell is closed on a Monday? I can understand being closed on a Sunday but Monday? I looked the place up on the internet and since it's one of those family owned places, they're hours aren't posted.
So I leave and go to the post office, there's four people standing around and talking. Why? It's the post office not a box social. There's no employees so I have to ring the bell, I ask if the box can be dropped into the box, the lady just takes it and puts it with the other mail without saying a word and she speaks English, I know I've had many a package sent from that place. I think that lady just hates me.
So I decide to try the other pizza place, it's a little out of the way but why not? I head down tot the intersection and there's a small ambulance that turns before me and they speed limit is 45 and they're going 25. They're just crawling the whole fucking time. Then they stop, what the fuck? There's construction going on on the other side of the road. And they construction crew isn't going anything, they just parked their vehicles in the middle of the road.
Then I pull into the plaza. They plaza is divided into two sections, the main driveway leads to a cooperate building, and then there's a section where you turn into a plaza where there's a couple of stores and that parking lot is separated from the cooperate building's so it's not shared. I pull into the plaza with the stores, they're parking lot is divided into 3 sections, left, straight and right. U pull up tot he pizza place and it too is closed, but not only are they closed on Monday, they're closed on Tuesday too and they open at 3:30. There's several businesses in that plaza why would they have such fucked up hours?
So I leave, I'm on the far left of the plaza, and there's only one way out and that's the same way you entered. I'm coming from the left side of the parking lot, and there's this old lady who's parked perpendicular to a bunch of parking spots and she's half on the parking spots and half in the road so I have to get on the opposite side of the road to get around her. Then this other lady, pulls into the parking lot and decide that she wants to turn left. Why? I don't know everything on the left side of the plaza is closed. So she sees me and stops, I'm stuck between a car and an island, so I can't move for her, and she expected me to. While there is only one entrance where this new lady is, which is also blocking me form leaving. She just pulled in, she's still facing the way to go straight all she had to do was turn her tires back and she could go straight and would be in the center of a plaza of 5 stores, with the ones on the left being closed, where I just came from.
The idiot is still trying to come my way so I squeeze my way between the two cars and leave the area. But I was not going to be beaten so easily. I've gone through 8 counts of irritating bullshit.
1) The first pizza place not picking up
2) The first pizza place being closed when I got there
3) The lady at the post office
4) The ambulance
5) The construction crew not going anything but taking up space
6) The second pizza place being closed
7) The Lady who parked like a moron
8) The other lady who was intent on going left when going straight would be take her to the same place in a shorter distance
At that point I said fuck it, time to pick up some Red Baron pizza. Then number 9 happens, a guy at the exit of the plaza who isn't paying attention and missed several opportunities to leave and he's driving so fucking slow, he's going about 45 so that's better than the ambulance.
I get to the grocery store, as I'm walking in here comes number 10. A woman with her daughter who are leaving. The woman stops as I walk in, she looks at me and then as this smug look on her face, it's that smug smile of "I'm better than you and I know it." Look, you've all seen it before you know what it looks like.
At thins point in time my sanity was hanging by a thread and because of this woman, my sanity has snapped, it's gone. So this woman thinks she's better than me? Well god damn it, time to fucking prove it, so I turn to her and say "What the fuck are you looking at you stupid cunt?" And I say that in front of her daughter too, so maybe her kid will learn to not be a stuck up bitch. I didn't stick around to see the aftermath, I was on a quest.
I go to the freezer section, I open the door and look for the one I want. I look down, there's a tag 2 for $7... my quest has paid off, more than I thought it would. Normally Red Baron pizza is close to $7 for just one. Now knowing that this pizza has a zesty sauce I go to pick up a bottle of soda. 2 for $3... I've hit the jackpot.
I pay for my stuff and leave, and it's a straight shot home, no traffic, no construction, green lights all the way. And all this happened in 30 minutes... or less.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
iPhone - Tiny Wings Review
When you're a bird with small wings, how do you fly? By sliding down hills of course!
Friday, October 21, 2011
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic
There's people who are asking why is did a review on the My Little Pony Friendship is Magic review or why I didn't give the game a score. Well is was a sketch, it wasn't meant to be taken seriously.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic the Video Game Review
A My Little Pony game based on Friendship is magic? FUCK YEAH!
Title card at by Jessica Andrews
http://ikacte.deviantart.com/
Sunday, October 16, 2011
iPhone - Helicopters in Space Review
Here's the first episode of Cellphun Gaming, a review of Helicopters in Space!
Visit Sugar Rush Games at http://www.sugarrushgames.com/
Since iPhone games are typically short I'm not sure how the format is gonna work out so I'll just run with 1 game per review for now and see where how it goes.
You'll have to excuse the primitive recording menthod, I'm not jailbreaking my iPhone to record straight from it.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Going back to the past to go back to the future
The DeLorean is coming back in 2013 as an electric car! Sadly it's not powered by 1.21 gigawatts.
Apple vs Samsung
Yeah who hasn't beaten this to death? But I wanted to give my thoughts on it since it's finally come to the Untied States.
Apple is suing Samsung for patent infringement and Samsung is suing them for patent infringement in response. This is more talked about than the Apple vs HTC which seems to have faded away.
I like Apple's mobile devices, but I hate how they do business. But I'm not one of those douchebags that says "I won't buy their products because I don't like how they do business." If I like a product, it's made well and functions properly, I'm gonna buy it regardless of manufacturer. But what Apple is doing is dangerously walking the line of protecting it's patents and trying to eliminate the competition through lawsuits.
This lawsuit is proof that what Apple wants is a monopoly. Back in the 80s when they tried suing Microsoft for them using a GUI. It was thrown out because Apple copied it from Xerox. But what's happening now is Apple has created 1000 patents, all with very broad descriptions that can cover many things. And this whole patent war is an indirect attack on Android, everything they're suing for is because of Android devices. They know that Android is a threat to them, it's more advanced and it keeps becoming more and more advanced each month.
Why do you think the PC dominates over the Mac? Because newer and more powerful PCs come out all the time and they're more customizable, while Apple releases a new computer or device once a year with a few new features added once a year and their computers aren't as customizable and are wicked expensive.
There was a time when Apple was targeting Motorola for a patent lawsuit, and then Google bought Motorola and we haven't heard anything more from Apple. They won't sue Google directly because they know that it's a case that will drag out forever and cost a lot of money. But they have no issue with going against these smaller companies because they can't go toe to toe with Apple, while Google can.
Samsung is at fault too, their TouchWiz UI was very much like iOS. When I saw the Samsung Galaxy set of phones I thought they were Apple devices at first. And their lawyers are incompetent boobs that have no idea what products their company puts out. When Apple sent that clearly photoshopped image to the judge, they lawyers didn't do anything. Then today the judge asked the Samsung lawyer to tell the two tablets apart and he couldn't "from that distance"
Are you kidding me? How did no one from Samsung say that the picture of the Galaxy Tab was doctored? It's obvious to everyone but Samsung's lawyers. And when asked to tell the difference between the two, how do you not know? The iPad is more square shaped and has a silver backing, even if you're looking at it head on, you can see a silver lining around it. The Galaxy is more rectangular in shape and is all black with no silver on it.
I how far was this guy away from them? 20 feet maybe? I was at a Verizon store and they have a Galaxy and an iPad next to each other and I was able to tell which one is which. And standing in a courtroom he obviously wasn't looking at them head on and had to be looking at them from some kind of angle. Therefore he's either blind, doesn't know his shapes and colors or has no idea what Samsung's products even look like.
Yeah Samsung is going to be firing their lawyers for their gross stupidity. I can only imagine that after being a major supplier of iPhone parts, Samsung must feel like this lawsuit is a slap in the face.
Apple is suing Samsung for patent infringement and Samsung is suing them for patent infringement in response. This is more talked about than the Apple vs HTC which seems to have faded away.
I like Apple's mobile devices, but I hate how they do business. But I'm not one of those douchebags that says "I won't buy their products because I don't like how they do business." If I like a product, it's made well and functions properly, I'm gonna buy it regardless of manufacturer. But what Apple is doing is dangerously walking the line of protecting it's patents and trying to eliminate the competition through lawsuits.
This lawsuit is proof that what Apple wants is a monopoly. Back in the 80s when they tried suing Microsoft for them using a GUI. It was thrown out because Apple copied it from Xerox. But what's happening now is Apple has created 1000 patents, all with very broad descriptions that can cover many things. And this whole patent war is an indirect attack on Android, everything they're suing for is because of Android devices. They know that Android is a threat to them, it's more advanced and it keeps becoming more and more advanced each month.
Why do you think the PC dominates over the Mac? Because newer and more powerful PCs come out all the time and they're more customizable, while Apple releases a new computer or device once a year with a few new features added once a year and their computers aren't as customizable and are wicked expensive.
There was a time when Apple was targeting Motorola for a patent lawsuit, and then Google bought Motorola and we haven't heard anything more from Apple. They won't sue Google directly because they know that it's a case that will drag out forever and cost a lot of money. But they have no issue with going against these smaller companies because they can't go toe to toe with Apple, while Google can.
Samsung is at fault too, their TouchWiz UI was very much like iOS. When I saw the Samsung Galaxy set of phones I thought they were Apple devices at first. And their lawyers are incompetent boobs that have no idea what products their company puts out. When Apple sent that clearly photoshopped image to the judge, they lawyers didn't do anything. Then today the judge asked the Samsung lawyer to tell the two tablets apart and he couldn't "from that distance"
Are you kidding me? How did no one from Samsung say that the picture of the Galaxy Tab was doctored? It's obvious to everyone but Samsung's lawyers. And when asked to tell the difference between the two, how do you not know? The iPad is more square shaped and has a silver backing, even if you're looking at it head on, you can see a silver lining around it. The Galaxy is more rectangular in shape and is all black with no silver on it.
I how far was this guy away from them? 20 feet maybe? I was at a Verizon store and they have a Galaxy and an iPad next to each other and I was able to tell which one is which. And standing in a courtroom he obviously wasn't looking at them head on and had to be looking at them from some kind of angle. Therefore he's either blind, doesn't know his shapes and colors or has no idea what Samsung's products even look like.
Yeah Samsung is going to be firing their lawyers for their gross stupidity. I can only imagine that after being a major supplier of iPhone parts, Samsung must feel like this lawsuit is a slap in the face.
Ardy Lightfoot Review
What happens when you mix Indiana Jones, Sonic the Hedgehog and Dragon Ball? You get a pile of dreck called Ardy Lightfoot, a game so unplayable that it rivals Bubsy 3D
Title card at by Jessica Andrews
http://ikacte.deviantart.com/
iPhone Game Reviews Coming Soon
Just like the title says, they're going to be quick reviews as there really isn't much to say about them as iPhone games are pretty simple.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
World of Illusion Review
Hopefully this will be the last licensed game I'll be doing for a while, its interesting to note that Disney had nothing to do with this game as is was made entirely by Sega
Friday, October 7, 2011
Mobile Gaming - Death and Rebirth?
There's three mobile gaming platforms out there, the DS, PSP and cellphones.
The PSP is probably the best example of death. Most of the games on the PSP aren't that good and the PSP seems to be a system where developers dump their unused and unfinished ideas in an attempt to churn a profit.
The DS has a much stronger hold on the market, setting more of a middle ground. There's good titles but the DS really has Nintendo only keeping it alive with their own games like Mario or Pokemon, as long as those exist, Nintendo will always have a foothold in the mobile gaming market.
Then there's cellphone gaming, which seems to be where really mobile gaming innovation is taking place and would be the example of rebirth. Look at Angry Birds, such a simple game that's been done several times before, but it's exploded, there's Angry Birds plushies and even dog toys modeled after the birds. Cut-the-Rope is another title that's taken off and there's Omnom toys now.
So what's the difference between all these games? Well the PSP and DS titles are what would be considered a real game, there's a beginning and an end and a story to go with it. The cellphone games are very basic and are more of a time waster with no actual accomplishment other than getting a high score.
I have a friend who bought a 3DS on launch day and he'll go out an buy games for it, I think maybe 4 of them. Now we both have iPhones as well. He refuses to pay $1 for an iPhone game but would rather spend $40 on a 3DS game that he might not even like.
So here's a challenge, if you have a PSP or 3DS go buy 1 game for that system, then buy as many games as you can on your iPhone that are equal to the amount that you paid for the PSP/3DS game and see which one you have more fun with.
Also Game Stop is taking in iOS devices for trade ins, that's gotta tell you that cellphone gaming is just as competitive, if not more, than portable gaming.
The PSP is probably the best example of death. Most of the games on the PSP aren't that good and the PSP seems to be a system where developers dump their unused and unfinished ideas in an attempt to churn a profit.
The DS has a much stronger hold on the market, setting more of a middle ground. There's good titles but the DS really has Nintendo only keeping it alive with their own games like Mario or Pokemon, as long as those exist, Nintendo will always have a foothold in the mobile gaming market.
Then there's cellphone gaming, which seems to be where really mobile gaming innovation is taking place and would be the example of rebirth. Look at Angry Birds, such a simple game that's been done several times before, but it's exploded, there's Angry Birds plushies and even dog toys modeled after the birds. Cut-the-Rope is another title that's taken off and there's Omnom toys now.
So what's the difference between all these games? Well the PSP and DS titles are what would be considered a real game, there's a beginning and an end and a story to go with it. The cellphone games are very basic and are more of a time waster with no actual accomplishment other than getting a high score.
I have a friend who bought a 3DS on launch day and he'll go out an buy games for it, I think maybe 4 of them. Now we both have iPhones as well. He refuses to pay $1 for an iPhone game but would rather spend $40 on a 3DS game that he might not even like.
So here's a challenge, if you have a PSP or 3DS go buy 1 game for that system, then buy as many games as you can on your iPhone that are equal to the amount that you paid for the PSP/3DS game and see which one you have more fun with.
Also Game Stop is taking in iOS devices for trade ins, that's gotta tell you that cellphone gaming is just as competitive, if not more, than portable gaming.
The Lion King Review
With The Lion King now re-released in 3D and on Blu-Ray, I might as go review the game that was released back in the 90s to cash in on the big name movie.
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